What's THIS?
by perciniem
Summary: AU of the aftermath of the Avengers. What happens when Loki's wife appeared at Stark Towers after the Chitauri got defeated and met her battered husband and the Avengers? Read to find out! One-shot. Loki/Sigyn.


**Disclaimer: Nothing belongs to me inside this story except for the ****plot line.**

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**What's THIS?**

_"WHAT'S THIS?"_

The gathered Avengers moved back stunned as a petite woman stormed up to them, ignoring the fallen debris when she wasn't even supposed to be able to enter the tower. The woman was about 5"7 and has pale skin, blonde hair and crystal blue eyes. She wouldn't have been so scary if it wasn't her expression on her face.

Thor broke the silence, "Sigyn? What are you doing here?" He asked confusedly.

At his sound, the fallen raven-haired god raised his head. "Sigyn!" Which caused the beautiful woman racing to his side, ignoring the warnings of the Avengers minus Thor, who still looked very confused.

The Avengers was about to restrain the woman from getting harmed when to their _greatest_ confusion saw Loki pull the woman into his arms.

"Loki! What did you do this time?" The distressed woman sobbed.

"It's not me who did, it's that green monster over there!" He pointed an accusing finger at Bruce Banner, who had already turned back from his original state to not scare the seemingly fragile woman and was just as confused as his fellow Avengers.

"What? Loki, there's no green monster! Stop lying to me! I'M YOUR WIFE!" Sigyn said, and the Avengers paled along with Loki, who looked like a ghost now, knowing that his wife is about to explode at him.

"Um, sorry?" He squeaked, snapping Tony, Natasha, and Clint out of their haze when they saw the terrified face on his normally arrogant one. They snickered quietly.

"SORRY? Is that all I get? SORRY! YOU BETTER BE SORRY! Do you _KNOW_ how much you worried me? What possessed you to jump of the Bifrost, huh? Do you _KNOW_ that I almost lost _OUR_ baby over _YOUR ATTEMPT TO COMMIT SUICIDE_?"

"Darling, I'm sorry, I didn't realize-" Loki started, only to be slapped on the face by Sigyn. At this, Thor broke out of his confusion and tried to restrain Sigyn from hurting his brother only to be stopped by Tony.

"Please, this is way too fun! I'm so going to post this on Facebook!" He squealed, pulling out his Stark phone and started recording the proceedings. Thor hesitated, and finally pulled back his hand, grudgingly admit that his little brother _did_ deserve to be left in his pregnant wife's wrath, what, with trying to dominate Midgard and stabbing him.

The couple, on the other hand, didn't seem to notice what's going on around them. "What's that for?" Loki complained, holding his tender cheek, where a red palm-sized bruise is already forming, "I'm already injured enough as it is!" Around them, the Avengers stared at the scene amused, as their enemy got berated by his small wife like a 7 year old boy, never mind that he's already about 1054 years old.

"That is for lying to me. Now tell me, why did you stab Thor?" Sigyn replied, hands on hips and demanding an explanation.

"Because he is stopping me from ruling Mid-" Loki started only to snap shut his mouth at his wife's raised hand.

"No wait, don't tell me. I already know what you're going to say. And I'm going to say that you're being extremely stupid, BECAUSE YOU ABANDANDONED ME!" At this, Sigyn broke into sobs and clung to Loki's armor. Loki stared around the assembled Avengers pleadingly, distress in his eyes as his clothes started to get soaked with his PMSing wife's tears. The Avengers just smirked at him, while his brother, _his not-brother_ he thought, just winced at him in sympathy.

Sigyn's tears finally subsided, only to be replaced by an angry expression that made Loki cringe in fear just as he was about to breath a sigh of relief.

"From now on Loki Odinson, YOU'RE NOT GETTING LAID FOR A DECADE!" Sigyn shouted at the god. The god paled further.

"Sigyn dear-"

"TWO DECADES!"

"Dear, let me explain-"

"THREE DECADES!"

Loki fell silent as his wife stared at him with a fiery, stubborn expression and all the males couldn't help but feel sympathy for the target of Sigyn's wrath. Suddenly, Sigyn rushed to the bathroom, dragging an injured Loki behind her. The Earth's greatest heroes just watched him stumble along with his wife while they snickered.

When they were out of sight, Tony breathed a sigh of relief, and said, "That, my friends, is why I never married. I almost forgive Reindeer Games for pushing me out of the window just then!"

"Friend Tony, I agree with your statement," Thor said, fixing his gaze on the bathroom door fearfully.

Just as they are about to head back to the base, Sigyn appeared in front of them in all her glory, and nailed them to her ground with her fearsome glare. "I COULD HEAR YOU, YOU KNOW! WELL, TRY TO CARRY A 10-POUND JÖTUN/ASGARDIAN BABY AND WE'LL SEE ABOUT THAT! And Thor…"

The mighty thunder god gulped while Sigyn smirked, "My sisters likes you very much, you know. And your mother very much like the idea of a 7th grandson. I'm sure my sisters won't mind marrying you!"

With that, she stormed off, dragging a smirking god behind her by the ear while the rest stared at Tony and Thor. Tony and Thor gulped, both saying at the same time, "Shit…"

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